First Date Paying with Card or Cash: Who Should Pay the Bill

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A couple on a first date at a modern café. The woman awaits, using her smartphone.
Credit: pexels.com, A couple on a first date at a modern café. The woman awaits, using her smartphone.

Paying the bill on a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience, but it's essential to get it right. In some countries, like the UK, the person who initiated the date is often expected to pay the bill.

Research suggests that in the US, men are more likely to offer to pay the bill, with 71% of men saying they would cover the cost, compared to 45% of women. This may be due to cultural norms and expectations around masculinity and financial responsibility.

Ultimately, the decision of who pays the bill should be based on mutual respect and agreement between the two people on the date.

Who Pays on a First Date?

A survey by Money.com found that 78% of participants still expect the man to pay for the first date. This traditional expectation may be less popular, but it's still a good idea for a gentleman to be prepared to pay, regardless of whether he does end up paying.

Credit: youtube.com, Who Should Pay On the First Date? | Jay Shetty

If you're the one initiating the date, be prepared to pay. This is more common with subsequent dates, but it can be applied to the first date as well. A study by Match.com shows that 62% of people polled agree that whoever initiates the date should pay the bill.

It's always a good idea to bring your wallet and some cash just in case, as things don't always go as planned. If your date's card has been declined or they don't have enough money on them, being prepared ensures you and your date don't have to spend the rest of the evening scrubbing dishes in the kitchen to pay for your meals.

The Man Pays

Traditionally, the man has been expected to pay on the first date, with 78% of participants in a survey conducted by Money.com expecting this to be the case.

A gentleman should always be prepared to pay for the meal, regardless of whether he does end up paying, to avoid any awkward situations.

Credit: youtube.com, WHO PAYS ON THE FIRST DATE?

Some modern women may view this as sexist or suggesting that they can't afford the meal on their own, but being prepared with funds ensures a smooth evening.

It's always a good idea to have funds ready, just in case your date's card has been declined or they don't have enough money on them, so you and your date don't have to spend the rest of the evening scrubbing dishes in the kitchen.

Who Initiated the Date?

If you initiate the date, be prepared to pay. In Scenario #2, whoever initiates the date is expected to pay the bill.

This rule applies to most dates, but it's more common with subsequent dates. When you invite someone out, it implies you're asking them to join you and pay for them.

In general, if you invite someone over for dinner, you wouldn't expect them to buy the ingredients. The same logic applies to inviting someone out for lunch or dinner.

See what others are reading: Credit Card Dates to Know

Credit: youtube.com, Should A Man Pay For The First Date? | Loose Women

In LGBTQ+ communities, this rule is quite common. A study by Match.com shows that 62% of people polled agree that whoever initiates the date should pay the bill.

If you're meeting up with friends at a pub, everyone is expected to pay their own bill. This rule doesn't apply to larger parties or social gatherings.

Paying for the Bill

A survey conducted by Money.com found that 78% of participants still expect the man to pay for the first date.

Traditionally, the man has been expected to pay, but some modern women may view it as sexist or suggesting they can't afford the meal on their own.

A gentleman should always be prepared to pay for the meal regardless of whether he does end up paying.

Splitting the bill, or 'going Dutch', is common in today's dating scene. A sense of equality regarding the bill means that neither you nor your date should be pressured to pay the full amount.

Credit: youtube.com, Hey Steve: Splitting the Bill on the First Date

If the date didn't go well, at least you don't have to pay for their meal and drinks, and they most likely feel the same way toward you.

You can split the bill in a couple of different ways: either by splitting it right down the middle and paying an equal amount, or by paying for what you ordered and they pay for theirs.

If you find yourself in a position where your date thinks you are going to pay for the meal and decides to order expensive food and drinks, you can mention well before the meal is over that you'd rather split the bill, or that they can pay for the expensive items themselves.

Always bring physical cash with you, as you never know if the establishment's debit/credit machine will be down.

Paying for the Bill Sends Messages

Paying for the bill can be a complex process, but did you know that it can also send strong messages to the other person involved? Research suggests that paying for the bill can be seen as a way to show appreciation and gratitude.

Woman in Red Blazer Paying Using Her Smartphone
Credit: pexels.com, Woman in Red Blazer Paying Using Her Smartphone

In many cultures, paying for the bill is seen as a sign of respect and generosity. For example, in some Asian cultures, it's customary for the guest to refuse payment and let the host pay, but in reality, the guest often ends up paying anyway.

Paying for the bill can also be a way to show affection and intimacy. A study found that couples who split the bill evenly or the man pays the bill tend to have a more romantic relationship.

Paying for the bill can also be a way to show dominance or control. In some cases, the person who pays for the bill may be seen as the leader or the one in charge.

In some cultures, paying for the bill is seen as a way to show hospitality and generosity. For example, in some Middle Eastern cultures, it's customary for the host to pay for the bill as a way to show respect and kindness to their guests.

Scenario 3: Bill Splitting

Credit: youtube.com, Man refuses to pay for his girlfriends meal. He said he was tired of paying for everything

Splitting the bill, or 'going Dutch', is common in today's dating scene. This approach ensures that neither you nor your date is pressured to pay the full amount. A survey conducted by Money.com claims that 78% of participants still expect the man to pay for the first date, but modern women may view this as sexist.

If the date didn't go well, at least you don't have to pay for their meal and drinks, and they most likely feel the same way toward you. You can approach splitting the bill in a couple of different ways.

  • Splitting it right down the middle and paying an equal amount (safe if your orders are similar in price)
  • You pay for what you ordered and they pay for theirs (that way no one is stuck paying for extra drinks or food they never had)

If you find yourself in a situation where your date thinks you're going to pay for the meal and decides to order expensive food and drinks, you can mention it well before the meal is over that you'd rather split the bill, or that they can pay for the expensive items themselves. Always bring physical cash with you, as you never know if the establishment's debit/credit machine will be down.

Money on Dates

Credit: youtube.com, Should a Man Pay on a First Date?

The person who asked out should consider paying, but it's not a hard and fast rule. Some people prefer to split the cost of a date in half, regardless of who asked.

It's not 1950 anymore, and the dated assumption that men should pay for the first date is less than helpful. It assumes all couples have exactly one man, which isn't always the case.

You can clear up any assumptions by asking ahead of time, like texting your date to ask if they usually like to split the check or have one person pick it up. This can help avoid the awkward "check dance" later on.

Reframing "money talk" as a normal part of date prep can make it feel less scary and awkward. It's just one more thing to tick off your list, like picking an outfit and planning your route.

If you can normalize talking about money early on and include it in your everyday conversations, it's less likely to get awkward later.

Ginger Wolf

Copy Editor

Ginger Wolf is a meticulous and detail-oriented copy editor with a passion for refining written content. With a keen eye for grammar and syntax, Ginger has honed her skills in ensuring that articles are polished and error-free. Her expertise spans a range of topics, including personal finance and budgeting.

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